I have been learning so much from God lately. I have been making it a point to set my alarm for about an hour before the boys get up so that I can have some quiet time. I have even been enjoying reading the Old Testament (which is not always my favorite). There are some very dry parts, but there are also a lot of great truths and things to learn from history.
It always amazes me how God will drive home a certain point with me over and over through different sources. I will read it in the Bible, then hear something about it at work or church, then hear something on the radio- all within a day or two! I don't believe in coincidence.
Yesterday while driving in the car, I happened to catch the last part of a message by Joyce Meyer. She is a very powerful speaker, and honestly, much of the time I find her a little too "intense" for me. This time, though, I "got it". She was talking about how God can and will give us anything we desire as long as we keep Him first in our lives and keep our eyes on Him and not our desires. I believe that God gives us our desires- he causes them- puts them in our hearts. I also believe that the more we seek God, our desires will change to fit in with what He wants to do in our lives. What once seemed important to us no longer is. (Side note: I also heard Joyce speak on dieting once and that was a very powerful convicting message. I'd like to get that.)
When I was trying to get pregnant the first time, I had such a desire to be a mother. I couldn't understand why God would give me such a deep down desire and then have me go through infertility. My focus wasn't on Him first, it was on getting pregnant. I ended up drawing closer to God during that time than probably any other time in my life. I came to the point where I said "OK, God, I want your will to be done- even if I never get pregnant or have children". You all know how that story ended. God wanted me to focus on Him first and then he could give me the desires of my heart. In return, He gets the glory for giving me my boys.
I also listened to an radio program about "Preventing Homosexuality". Here is a link to the book. I pray that my sons never choose that lifestyle. I'm interested in learning about what Tim and I can do. A lot of it talks about how a boy has to break away from his mother and associate (that's not the right word, I'm not sure what is) himself with his father. It also talks about things to look for in normal development or things to be concerned about. (One of the positive things to look for was if your boys get excited when daddy gets home from work, are they glad to see him? I was so glad when the boys were jumping up and down, clapping, and running to the window yesterday when Tim got home!) I plan to see if I can find this book at the library. There is also a chapter on this subject in Dr. Dobson's "Bringing Up Boys". The statistics alone are worth reading.