Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Ways to put your husband first....

These may not necessarily seem like ways to put him first. And maybe it's not about making him first, but making him a priority and not just giving him whatever is leftover of me at the end of the day. Because truthfully, it ain't much.

If I did all of these things I would have a better marriage. I've very good about reading a lot about marriage, but not putting into practice what I know is true/right. I am posting these
here as a reminder to me as well as ideas for you. I'm trying, Tim, I really am!

1. Know what his favorite meals are and cook them for him. If the kids don't like it, there are always hot dogs.
2. Do the little things he asks you to do. Tim asked me to fix his pants. I waited weeks before fixing them. I did everything else I wanted to do and didn't do it until he was really frustrated with me. Had I done it in a timely manner, it would have shown him he was a priority to me.
3. Make time for sex if you know that is something that is important to him. This was an area in the "For Women Only" book that I learned a lot from.
4. Know what makes your husband feel loved (maybe it is emptying the wastebasket when it's full or having the house picked up (not necessarily white glove clean) when he gets home from work.
5. Know what ticks your husband off and don't do it.
6. Say nice things about your husband in front of him and in front of your kids.
7. Say no to some extra curricular things so that you can say yes to your husband. A lot of things that we do are "good", but that doesn't always mean we should be doing all of them. Especially if we are making a sacrifice in another area. Only through close conversation with God can you discern which you should be doing. I like helping people and I like telling them yes. However, it often comes at the expense of my family.
8. Be the wife that your husband needs. You don't have to be the wife Bob, Joe, or Ralph needs (unless you are married to one of them). You have to be the complimenting partner for your husband.

I'm sure there are many more that I can't think of right now.

Also, while it is true that our children are only young once, none of us knows how long we have with our husbands either. Sometimes I think about how I treat Tim and if I would treat him the same way if I knew we only had days or months left together?-NEVER!


Char said...

These are good ways!
I like #1. I finally learned this! Sometimes the boys will eat cereal if Todd and I are having something they don't like. They always have to try what I make, but if it's something new and they don't like it after tasting, i'll give them something else.
I agree with #3. I learned a lot from that book on sex and men!
I like #6 too. It is important to complement him infront of others and in front of your kids! Good ideas! Thanks for reminding me!

SamandSawyersMom said...

Well, it is funny that the girl (me) that had the most problem with the words "I put my marriage first" honestly feels that I do most of those already. I just did not feel that it was an accurate statement. I still don't. If you wait until your kids are fed, bathed and put to bed, he is not first. That is what I meant. Anyway, I read your list thinking I would feel like the worst wife ever and I don't. The food thing is ALWAYS done here. Steve chooses more than anyone else what we eat and the boys eat that regardless of if they LOVE it. I can't think of a single thing my husband has asked of me that I have put off. We both like sex so that is not a problem either. The ticking your husband off thing is an issue and I am guilty of that. Steve and I almost never say anything but nice things about eachother infront of our children. So, I agree with you and it sounds like these are things YOU are convicted on but other things come easier. I have my issues as well that I continue to work on. Trying to work on your marriage as you parent your children is a must so again I think it comes down to the words you use to describe it. I was not comfortable saying "I do or should put my husband first" when it is impossible for me to do that with my children needing so much. My husband brought up a great point. He and I decided that if we are both comfortable giving so much to the children, isn't that giving him what he wants?

Crystal said...

Those are great ideas. I do the meal thing and feed the kids something else. Another thing that I try to do is to drop whatever it is I am doing and make sure I greet my husband at the door when he comes home from work, with a kiss and hug and ask him how his day was. I also feel that husbands need to know that their wives are proud of them.

Amanda said...

I'm glad you specified, because I don't know who Joe, Bob and Ralph are.