I am having serious blog block. I don't know what it is. I have pictures to share and things I want to write about, but every time I sit down to do it I get anxious and fidgety. Maybe I'm just not supposed to blog right now.
Life is crazy. It feels very out of control. For anyone who may not know, I am leaving my job at the end of the month to stay home with the boys. This is something I have wanted for 5 years, and it is finally coming true. My emotions about this are all over the place. I am happy to finally be "coming home". I'm scared to lose the income, scared to fail at homeschooling. I'm excited to be stepping out in faith. I have mixed feelings about leaving the "professional" world. Sad to leave my friends. Happy to leave a corporation that I'm not happy with. Dreading the stress of being home with the boys EVERY day. Stressed about getting everything caught up at work before I leave and stressed about training my replacement who started yesterday. Stressed that we are due for a state survey any day. Hopeful that the state will come the week after I leave. Sad about leaving my residents and their families who have become my friends and family.
I know I will survive. I know I will be OK. My faith will carry me through. My family will help me. My friends will support me.
I'm trying not to wish away the next couple of weeks.
The knot in my stomach, the heartburn, the sleeplessness. Those can feel free to leave anytime!