Friday, August 14, 2009

Blog Block

I am having serious blog block. I don't know what it is. I have pictures to share and things I want to write about, but every time I sit down to do it I get anxious and fidgety. Maybe I'm just not supposed to blog right now.

Life is crazy. It feels very out of control. For anyone who may not know, I am leaving my job at the end of the month to stay home with the boys. This is something I have wanted for 5 years, and it is finally coming true. My emotions about this are all over the place. I am happy to finally be "coming home". I'm scared to lose the income, scared to fail at homeschooling. I'm excited to be stepping out in faith. I have mixed feelings about leaving the "professional" world. Sad to leave my friends. Happy to leave a corporation that I'm not happy with. Dreading the stress of being home with the boys EVERY day. Stressed about getting everything caught up at work before I leave and stressed about training my replacement who started yesterday. Stressed that we are due for a state survey any day. Hopeful that the state will come the week after I leave. Sad about leaving my residents and their families who have become my friends and family.

I know I will survive. I know I will be OK. My faith will carry me through. My family will help me. My friends will support me.

I'm trying not to wish away the next couple of weeks.

The knot in my stomach, the heartburn, the sleeplessness. Those can feel free to leave anytime!


Amanda said...

I think the stress about training is caused by the fact that you forgot to get one of Caitlin's training bra's.

Things will work out. You will do fine. Financial trouble is hard, but God provides. You know that. Also, Amanda's kitchen provides monthly! hee hee

Homeschooling will be a challenge, but you need to stay focused and consistant. Remember you have the hall for time outs, that is what homeschoolers do!

I am here for support if you need, and Caitlin has a drawer full of different styles of training bras...

Cheryl said...

you will be so much happier once you are finally home with the boys. The next few weeks will just make returning home that much sweeter! good luck and I hope all goes well.

Char said...

Only a few more weeks and you'll be free! You'll be able to put all of your focus onto your family and things will fall into place, I bet!
It will be hard to be home all the time with the boys, I won't lie - I mean, I've been where you are and still am. It does get easier as they age and you get a routine down though. Quiet time in the afternoon is a MUST or you'll go loopy!
You know I'm here for you to help in any way I can! I'll always support you, cheer you on and keep you going on those rough days!
Like I told you earlier, I'm sure once you stop working and start living your life as a sahm you'll WANT to post on your blog just for some stimulating adult conversation and interaction! HA! ;-)

Unknown said...

Then the playdates are really more about moms then least that is why Amanda is going to keep coming even without hers!

Katherine said...

I understand your nervousness - my skin is completely broken out to prove it. :) But I'm praying for you. It will be over soon and God will bless you if you ask Him!

kellerie said...

don't worry about leaving work so much. no matter how valuable you are, they will survive without you.
enjoy the time with your kids. teacher tip #1 - no matter how badly you screw up today, you can start over tomorrow!
homeschooling will work, you just have to find your rhythm.

Char said...

Enough with the blog block. Come on already!!!

Cheryl said...